Make sure you always get your GRAM, add "michael@WANZIE.com" to your address book! Having difficulties viewing your WANZeGRAM, you can always view the latest version online:  Click Here! PLEASE NOTE: Your WANZeGRAM contains images which our stored on our web server and should load when you open it.  Depending upon your own settings, you might need to manually allow for them to be displayed.  Check your personal preferences or options. You might also close and then re-open and find the images being displayed.  Otherwise, view it online!

on Saturday, June 7th at 10:00 PM.  Instead of a gay-themed whodunit, this year Sleuths presents “Gayme Night,” a night of outrageous game show spoofs featuring the “Follywood Squares” and the “Match Gayme.”  Guests, who may become lucky contestants and win fabulous prizes, will join outlandish “celebrities” for an evening of mayhem and laughter.  

Our very own DOUG will be hosting THE MATCH GAYME as well, and then will re-appear as a celebrity square, in the Hollywood themed tic tac toe game, playing the part of Janet Reno – a character which was settled upon due to Doug’s willingness to appear in drag, but also in deference to his unwillingness to shave!

Admission price will include a delicious appetizer & dessert buffet and four drink tickets, per person, redeemable for beer or wine.  A full cash bar will also be available.

After the game show fun, guests can stay late for karaoke with judges Randy, Paula, & Simon!

This special event stars popular Orlando actors including DOUG, Rusti Fawcett, Chris Robison, Dewey Chaffee and many more!

It is certain to be the most shameless and risqué show of the GayDays’ week. 

GOD CHOSE MARK BARATELLI TO SEE MARIO CANTONE!

The King of Kings and Lord of Lords has spoken directly to WANZIE and has informed the name sake of this Gram of all the names of all the people who sent in contest entries, but whom God had decided he did NOT want to see receive tickets to enjoy Mario Cantone at Hard Rock Live! on Saturday evening. By way of divine deductive reasoning, the only remaining name was that of one Mark Baratelli, whose winning prayer (and prattle) entry follows for your enjoyment:

“Let he who cast the first stone be not judged on the way he throweth said stone, so sayeth someone in the bible. I think it was Hermes.And yet it was I who was judged...not by my peers, whom lack the equality of mind and body with me... not by my city leaders, who I don't even know the names of... and not by Hannah Montanta, who I know on a first-basis.

It was by my Mother.

She found out I was doing in a non-equity production of "Mame" at the Pine Prairie Dinner Theater and Never-Ending Salad Bar and wrote me this note:

"Mark,

I thought you'd amount to something great. Apparently not.

-Mom"

I cried, ripped up the letter and threw my roommate’s copy of "Wicked" (the London cast) out of our kitchen window, which had no screen, allowing the flies to come in at night and eat us whole as the housing provided by Pine Prairie was like a dog house tossed in an industrial dryer. (I had to replace the cd, couldn't find the London cast, so stole it online from some download service)

How can someone who bore me, fed me, and told me it was ok to drop out of a production of "A Magical Christmas in Mobile, Alabama" because I didn't get along with the choreographer, go and stab me in the self-esteem like that? I cannot answer that. People do things for their own reasons, and my Mother is clearly jealous of my talent(s) and achievement(s).

So, I ask God in the hallowed halls of heaven to shimmy down the cloud pole and deliver me two tickets to Mario Cantone. Not to sell on Ebay, but to hand to the ticket-taker at Hard Rock Live when my Mother and I go to the show. Yes, these tickets will be an olive branch I am extending to my Mother. I turn the other cheek every chance I get, even when boyfriends hit me with chairs or bartenders grind ice cubes down my throat after I tell them they're too old to be not wearing a shirt in public.

Please be the olive branch my Mother and I so desperately need. And stop allowing bear bartenders to go shirtless in non-bear bars.

Yours in New Christy Minstrels”
 
- Mark Baratelli, Orlando

MARK AND HIS HATEFUL MOTHER will be attending the MARIO CANTONE event at HARD ROCK LIVE! along with WANZIE and Sam Singhaus and Beach Blanket Bingo tickets winner, Frank McClain!

You can go too:

Saturday, June 8, 2008
Hard Rock Live! Orlando
Tickets  $35 & $40
Purchase now by simply clicking here!

PRAYER CONTEST HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Thanks go out to all who entered our Mario Cantone Prayer contest. Many of the entries were quite serious, and contained some very heartfelt sentiments as well as political and social statements, which seem to have been spurred on by the Note From Wanzie concerning his recent auto mishap. For all those who took the time to send messages and/or prayers as well as personal emails concerning the incident, WANZIE wishes to express his gratitude. On the lighter side, there were two humorous entries, which qualified for Honorable Mention:

“Oh God, if there is a God!
If you LOVE faggots, or HATE them!
Deliver unto this faggot the FREE TICKETS,
to restoreth my soul, IF I have one!
                                   AH.....MEN”

- Jerry Baumeister, Poincinana

A second mention goes out for the closing line of a prayer sent in by Gary:

“… and please get that nut-ball republican chatter-box Elizabeth Hasselbeck off the air.”

- Gary

Jerry and Gary each win something!  We'll figure it out and get back to you guys.  After all, we hadn't planned on Honorable Mention prizes, yet we somehow we were divinely inclined to.

GREAT SHOWS ON SALE THROUGH ONLINE BOX OFFICE:

The newly expanded version of the novelty musical in which a young man (and by proxy, the audience) is indoctrinated into the culture and rituals of the gay bathhouse, kicks off its 2008 National Tour at the Parliament House this Saturday night, with an all-new cast direct from NYC!

"I do still love the song "Penises are like Snowflakes!"
- Elizabeth Maupin, Orlando Sentinel

“I sat in on tech rehearsal at the PH and what a difference this show is from the first time round. All the guys can sing and move to delightful results – and best of all, the clever lyrics can be heard over the live accompaniment because everyone is wearing a wireless lavaliere microphone. It’s great to be able to see the progression of a locally produced concept grow from original idea, to experimental showcase a couple of years back, to a recent New York production, to this National Tour which is being produced by New York’s famed Downtown Cabaret Theatre which launched such hits as Nunsense and Forever Plaid.  If you haven’t seen Bathhouse the Musical, the PH is the best place to experience it. If you have seen it, come back again and see how its new layers of paint, songs, and allows it to shine.”
– Michael Wanzie, The WANZeGRAM

“The choreography and dancing are excellent! The added songs are as good as the originals, and the arrangements are always eye catching. “Clickin’ for Dick” is a Cotton Eyed Joe line dance, while “Lonely Love Song” looks 100% Broadway."
- Arkiculture Digest
   
Freaking Hilarious!" - Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
 
"Bathhouse will be a hit wherever it goes!" - BroadwayWorld.com

BATHHOUSE THE MUSICAL NEW NATIONAL TOUR COMPANY:
  TWO SHOWS REMAIN:  Sat. 6/07 || Sun. 6/08

ALL SHOWS: 7:30 PM @ the Footlight Theatre @ the Parliament House

Orlando’s claim to having some of the nation’s most popular theme parks will surely remain intact with the impending visit of rising star LESLIE JORDAN, when he brings his own version of an amusement joy ride to the Footlight Theater @ The Parliament House on Tuesday, July 8th at 8:00 PM. for one night only.  But let’s be perfectly clear on one thing ... there’s won’t be any kiddie attractions at this ferris wheel of fun.  In fact, in all fairness, this show has to be declared off limits for those with less than 21 years of life experience under their belts.  Jordan’s new stage production MY TRIP DOWN THE PINK CARPET certainly has a magical journey tone to it’s title, but it’s content is a far cry from any Disney-esque renderings. 

The diminutive dynamo and acclaimed Emmy award winning television star (Will & Grace), having conquered multitudes of performance mediums on the strength of his own unique character and convictions, is in the midst of a banner year of exciting, new career achievements.   His sassy, one-of-a-kind Southern branded humor and innate storytelling abilities has brought Jordan legions of fans through his memorable performances on stage, television and film.  Unapologetically and to a great extent, lovingly, Jordan gives his Southern heritage and how it provided the basis for his adult values, its rightful due.

Tickets are now on sale, exclusively at the WANZIE.com Online Box Office!  Don't miss out on this incredible evening of hilarity.

Tuesday, July 8th @ 8:00 PM
Footlight Theatre @ the Parliament House
$43.00

Buy tickets online now!

It's baaaack!  VarieTEASE CARNIVALE makes a return to the Footlight Theatre at the PH! The smash hit of the 2007 Orlando Fringe Festival, and runaway summer spectacular is back for a limited time, beginning on Wednesday, June 25th!  Only four shows and tickets will go fast!  The cast includes old favorites and some new surprises! Boys, Girls, Kings, Queens & Everything In Between.

“Two words: f*cking mind-blowing.”  - Seth Kubersky, Orlando Weekly
“An hour’s worth of show stoppers.”  - Michael Freeman, Lakeland Ledger
“Polished … charms the pants off the audience.”  - Tod Caviness, Orlando Sentinel

Tickets available for all four shows!
Only at the WANZIE.com Online Box Office:

Wed. June 25th @ 9:00 PM
Wed. July 02nd @ 9:00 PM
Sat. July 05th @ 8:00 PM
Wed. June 16th @ 9:00 PM

Footlight Theatre @ the Parliament House
$15.00

PLEASE NOTE: DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL
WHEN PIGS FLY AT THE PARLIAMENT HOUSE HAS BEEN CANCELED

GAYDAYS IN BRIEF!

GAY DAY IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM
“Wear Red and Be Seen”
Saturday June 7th, 2008

No special ticket purchase required
Regular park admission policies apply 
This is a “Mix In” event
Enjoyed in concert with the general public

9:00 AM - MAGIC KINGDOM Park Opens

11:00 AM - Gay Youth Meet & Greet at Cinderella’s Castle
Traditionally occurs in the area between the Castle and Cinderella’s Golden Carousel on the Fantasyland side of Cindy’s domicile. A casual gathering where gay & lesbian youth can discover one another early in the day, and perhaps hang together for the remainder of the festivities.

12:45 PM - Lesbian Meet & Greet at Town Square
Girls at Gay Days Unite! Meet at Town Square on the Main Street side of the Train Station, in the park-like area surrounding the flagpole.

1:00 PM - Annual Bears Gathering at Country Bear Jamboree
Lions, Tigers, and Bear oh my! Join BEARS and their admirers for this annual meet up, and then journey together inside for the show. Last year it took 3 performances to accommodate all the bears at the bears.

1:00 PM - Lesbian Express
All aboard the Lesbian Choo Choo! Share the “Grand Circle Tour” train ride around the Magic Kingdom, aboard the Walt Disney World Railroad. Disembark at Main Street Station for the Women’s Stroll. Last year there were two and half trainloads of lesbians

1:40 PM - Women’ s Stroll
Time for the girls to take to the street, proudly walking arm in arm down Main Street USA to join the Pre-Parade Meet & Greet Celebration at Cinderella Castle.

1:45 PM - Pre-Parade Meet & Greet Celebration
Cinderella Castle Forecourt, and at the Hub on the Main Street side of the Castle. Join thousands of red-clad “family” members from around the world as they gather for this traditional, not-so-impromptu-anymore street party!

3:00 PM - Disney’s Share A Dream Come True Parade
The 3:00 PM gathering of red-shirted GLBT out and proud park attendees coming together to watch this parade is a time honored tradition. One, which many consider to be the highlight of Gay Day in the Magic Kingdom. The entire parade route is engulfed in a sea of Red-Shirted Gay Days revelers. The parade performers are always thrilled with the responsive gay audience, and everyone in the procession is smiling a bit brighter and kicking a bit higher knowing that today, Gays are as much represented on the Parade sidelines, as they are in the Parade itself.

Of course the first Saturday in June is Always Gay Day in the Magic Kingdom. That’s the 7th of June this year. Attendees are encouraged to “Wear Red and Be Seen”. Regular park admission policies and prices apply. It’s a hoot and a half and it’s a part of gay history. But GayDays is now so very much more.

10:00 PM - Wishes™ Nighttime Fireworks Spectacular (Followed by Park Closing)
 

General GayDays Info

For general GayDays information on the more tame and family friendly parties, information on The GayDays Expo, The Host Hotel & Pool Parties for the more vacation oriented attendees – rather the host Host Hotel and Pool Parties for the more hard core late night partiers- as well as some interesting GayDays history and traditions, you’ll want to log onto Orlando’s own www.GayDayS.com

GayDays Expo at Royal Plaza Hotel
Remaining Times:

Friday, June 6        10 AM - 8 PM
Saturday June 7     Noon – 6 PM

• Expo admission is free.
• DOUG, Darcel & Crazy John at PH/The Gardens Booth
• Realtor To The Stars DAVID DORMAN/Century 21 Booth
• Peter and Frank at the W.H.O. Magazine Booth
• RJ and Mario giving away free samples of Purus Vodka courtesy of the Parliament House!
• More than 80 Vendors from across the country
  

For information (and ticketing) for the more expensive dance mega-parties, which are specifically geared to the Circuit Party culture and musical interests – you’ll find everything you need to know by logging onto:

www.OneMightyWeekend.com

The Parliament House website offers complete information (and ticketing) for the best-bang-for-your-buck GayDays Concerts and Parties happening during GayDays 2008, only at the Parliament House.

In addition to the concert artists listed below, each party will feature the fabulous 10-piece horn-driven SOULFNKTION band, performing live on the Pool Stage, Adult Film Stars, expanded outdoor partying areas with enhanced lighting, access to six clubs including Disco, Video Bar and Showroom with world famous Female Impersonation Shows, Vendors, Food Court and on Saturday and Sunday nights – Beach Side Foam Parties!

Gay Days Friday – June 6 – EXPOSE`    
Gay Days Saturday – June 7 - EN VOGUE
Gay Days Sunday – June 8 - SISTER SLEDGE

At only $30 per party/concert, these GayDays events, typically attended by literally thousands of party animals from across the country and around the world, offer a great price-attractive alternatives to the Circuit events along with non -stop entertainment in several different PH environs, staffed by familiar faces in a friendly atmosphere of celebratory excitement. For complete information, including World Famous Sunday T-Dance with Allboy Model Search please log onto -

www.ParliamentHouse.com

Don’t forget the Official Theatrical Show of GayDays 2008 – BATHHOUSE: THE MUSICAL performing at the P-House on GayDays Thursday, June 5 through GayDays Sunday, June 8th.  All shows are at 7:30 PM. For tickets, please log onto -

www.WANZIE.com/boxoffice

For more events specifically geared to women, you’ll want to log onto -

www.GirlsInWonderland.com

For information and ticketing for MARIO CANTONE’s GayDays appearance on June 7th, and other great concert events at Hard Rock Live! Orlando, please log onto -

www.HardRock.com

For attraction admission prices, hours of operation, menus, and up-to-minute attraction news including in-depth coverage and photos of everything that’s new at all Orlando area theme parks since your last visit, you’ll want to log onto -

www.ThemeParks.com

GAYDAYS AT THE PH DAY BY DAY HOUR BY HOUR:

Friday, June 6, 2008 at PH

Rainbow Café Open 24 Hours

10:30 AM – 8:00 PM -------> FREE Pool Party
4:00 PM – 9:00 PM --------> Happy Hour (Video Bar)
7:30 PM – 9:00 PM --------> “Bathhouse The Musical” $15.00 *(Does NOT include club cover/concert ticket)                                         
8:00 PM – 2:00 AM --------> $30 Cover Charge
8:00 PM – 3:00 AM --------> DJ Joanie (Disco)
9:00 PM – 9:45 PM --------> “SoulFunktion” Band (Pool Stage)
10:00 PM – 10:45 PM -----> Footlight Players Show (Theatre)
10:00 PM – 2:00 AM ------> Porn Stars & Vendors (Courtyard)
11:00 PM – 11:30PM -----> “SoulFunktion” Band (Pool Stage)
12:00 AM – 12:40 AM ----> Footlight Players Show (Pool Stage)

1:00 AM ----------------------------------------------------------------> Exposé Concert (Pool Stage)

Saturday, June 7, 2008 at PH

Rainbow Café Open 24 Hours

10:30 AM – 8:00 PM -------> FREE Pool Party
6:00 PM – 7:00 PM --------> Happy Hour (Video Bar)
7:30 PM – 9:00 PM --------> “Bathhouse The Musical” $15.00 *(Does NOT include club cover/concert ticket)                                         
8:00 PM – 2:00 AM --------> $30 Cover Charge
8:00 PM – 3:00 AM --------> DJ Brianna (Disco)
9:00 PM – 9:45 PM --------> “SoulFunktion” Band (Pool Stage)
10:00 PM – 10:45 PM -----> Footlight Players Show (Theatre)
10:00 PM – 2:00 AM ------> Porn Stars & Vendors (Courtyard)
11:00 PM – 11:30 PM -----> “SoulFunktion” Band (Pool Stage)
11:00 PM – 3:00 AM ------> Foam Party (Lakeside)
12:00 AM – 12:40 AM -----> Footlight Players Show (Pool Stage)

1:00 AM ----------------------------------------------------------------> En Vogue Concert (Pool Stage)

Sunday, June 8, 2008 at PH

Rainbow Café Open 24 Hours

10:30 AM – 8:00 PM -------> FREE Pool Party
3:00 PM – 9:00 PM --------> $2 Drafts & $3 Wells and Schnapps
3:00 - 6:00 PM -------------> $10 Cover Charge                                 
6:00 PM – 2:00 AM --------> $30 Cover Charge
5:00 PM – 3:00 AM --------> DJ Brianna (Disco)
6:00 PM – 6:30 PM --------> Allboy Magazine & Badpuppy Model Search (Pool Stage)
7:15 PM – 8:00 PM ---------> Footlight Players Show (Disco)
7:30 PM – 9:00 PM ---------> “Bathhouse The Musical” $15.00 *(Does NOT include club cover/concert ticket)      
8:15 PM – 8:45 PM --------> “SoulFunktion” Band (Pool Stage)
8:00 PM – 3:00 AM ---------> Free Parking and Shuttle Service to and from the Citrus Bowl Stadium
9:00 PM – 9:30 PM -----> “SoulFunktion” Band (Pool Stage)
10:00 PM – 10:45 PM -----> Footlight Players Show (Theatre)
11:00 PM – 3:00 AM ------> Foam Party (Lakeside)
12:00 AM – 12:40 AM -----> Footlight Players Show (Pool Stage)

1:00 AM ----------------------------------------------------------------> Sister Sledge Concert (Pool Stage)

There’s so much going on for GayDays that we just could not possibly overwhelm you with anything more.  See the above GayDays in Brief and GayDays at the PH sections to keep yourself busy this week. Do you know about an event, audition, opportunity, or anything else that you believe subscribers should know about? Email WANZIE here and tell him about it.  There are no guarantees, but all will be considered! We reserve the right to edit all entry requests!

• WANZeGRAM Subscriber Night at LA NOUBA!
• Leslie Jordan’s Journey From Tennessee to Hollywood to PH!
• Q & A with YouTube Phenom - ANTHONY JOHNSON!
• What WANZIE’s Doing This Summer (And what he’s already done)

A NOTE FROM WANZIE!

Happy F’n Gay Days Everybody!

I’m WANZIE and that’s all I wrote!