Last chance to see Jeff Jones perform
        before he gets a new hairstyle!
 
   
HELL FREEZES OVER
at the Footlight Theatre for 3 shows
beginning Tomorrow Night - Saturday, July 17th
 
Jeff Jones is HAIRY
Kevin Bee is ANNOYING
Elizabeth Murff is OLDER THAN CHRIST'S UNDERWEAR
Doug Ba'aser has NEVER BEEN MORE DEMURE
In
HELL FREEZES OVER
 
Select-A-Seat Now
WANZeGRAM Title
 
2009 Wave Award Winner for Favorite LGBT Blog

Friday, July 16, 2010

Dear Reader,

 
We at the WANZeGRAM hope you will join our entire staff as Hell Freezes Over tomorrow night at the PH.
 
It will be nice to get out of the heat wave and into an air-conditioned theater, share some laughs, sip a cocktail, and maybe snag a little cock.
 
Or a big one!
 

 

In This Edition
PH to Celebrate 35th Anniversary!
A Historical Look at the Parliament House
A Page from Our Photo Album
Now On Sale in our Box Office
We've Got Mail!
Short Takes
The World in Brief
Coming Attractions
Now Playing
Theater/Venue Quick Links & Numbers
A Note from Wanzie
Quick Links
 
Box Office Quick Links:
 
  
PH 35 Anniversary Celebration Highlights
 

Monday, July 19:
Footlight Players Reunion Show
Featuring
CEZANNE
LEIGH SHANNON
VON GRETCHEN
AYSIA BLACK
MAYA ANDREWS
& THE FOOTLIGHT PLAYERS
In the Disco at 9 PM

 

 

 

Wednesday, July 21:

 Employee Turn-A-Bout Show

To benefit Joy MCC Food Bank 

  Footlight Theatre at 9 PM

 

 

 

Saturday, July 24:

Hell Freezes Over

Footlight Theatre at 8 PM

(Buy a ticket to see the show; stay for the party and Expose' for FREE!)

 

FREE ANNIVERSARY CAKE

In the courtyard at 10:45 PM
Vendors all night long

 

FOOTLIGHT PLAYERS
SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY SHOW

Pool Stage at Midnight

 

EXPOSE' - LIVE IN CONCERT!

Pool Stage at 1 AM

 

 
 
Looking Back at the PH Over the Years
 
The following is a re-printing of a Parliament House retrospective which Wanzie was asked to write for inclusion in the current issue of NOW Magazine which is now on newsstands at all your favorite gay & lesbian waterholes:

 

The Parliament House was a neglected relic of the pre-Disney era at the time gay couple and entrepreneurs Bill Miller and Michael Hodge bought the failing "motor court" in 1975. The PH had been left to wither when Interstate-4 opened, and the once well-traveled Orange Blossom Trail (OBT) no longer played host to the bulk of the tourist traffic. When Disney opened in 1974 and visitors wanted to stay as close to the Magic Kingdom as possible, that spelled the death toll for the motel that used to play host to monthly Rotary Club meetings and garden club luncheons. As the property values of the many motels along the OBT plummeted, Miller and Hodge seized the opportunity to snag the PH at a bargain price, creating what, at that time, would be one of only two openly gay accommodations and night club complexes in the United States of America.

 

As the abandoned OBT fell into decline and business were shuttered, the Parliament House was reborn as a gay mecca; a booming business which has survived more than three decades through three sets of owners.

 

The very private and more business-oriented Bill Miller died in 1987, leaving the PH to the more gregarious and beloved Michael Hodge who, along with resident show hostess Miss P, was the face of the Parliament House. When Hodge passed away in 1992, the property passed to his family who were not necessarily spiritually comfortable with owning a business that catered to homosexuals...but they did like the cash flow. Unfortunately, their hands-off ownership meant the PH fell into serious decline, and was literally caving in upon itself when unlikely new owners Don Granatstein and Susan Unger acquired the property in 1999.

 

This straight Jewish couple appeared very suspect to most longtime PH patrons who were quite concerned about the future of their gay fantasyland. And while the transition from the Hodge estate to the new Canadian owners was not without its hiccups, the almost immediate investment of 2 million dollars in renovations and clean ups was an early sign that the Parliament House was on the fast track to return to its glory days as a premiere GLBT destination.

 

Most notably, Susan Unger immediately took out the parking lot that separated the pool from the lodgings and created "The Courtyard." Guest rooms were refurnished, new lights and sound were installed in the Disco and in the Theater, and beefed up security and new exterior lighting made the PH inviting once again. The adjoining Carolina Moon Trailer Court was razed to make way for the first phase of THE GARDENS - America's first alternative lifestyle vacation ownership resort.

 

During an Orlando Weekly interview in 2004, the "information officer" of the Orlando Police Department declared, "The club (PH) is considered a good partner in the business community."  Sergeant Orlando Rolan went on to praise the new owners for helping to "clean-up the area" and making the PH a "safe place to visit."

 

One may only speculate how the Parliament House will continue to mature in the future, but it is fun to look back from whence it came:

 

The Disco used to be THE BARON OF BEEF Restaurant where many a real estate and/or political deal was made over good wine and prime rib shortly after the PH opened to the general public. What is now the video bar used to be THE PANTHER ROOM, where straight couples could enjoy cocktails along with live music and variety acts.  What is now the Footlight Theatre and its adjoining lounge was at one time a one-level convention and meeting room where even Tupperware ladies were known to have rallied. The dining and meeting complex was called THE ABBEY, which accounts for the drunken (cement) monk that still stands watch on the OBT side of the building till this day.

 

When Miller and Hodge re-launched the PH as a gay entertainment complex, one of the first businesses located within its environs was a barber shop situated in the area which in now The Service Station bar; it was called THE GAY BLADE. Over the years, what is now The Rainbow Cafe operated as SUNSHINE'S, GRANNIE'S KITCHEN, and even THE DUGOUT.

 

Though this venerable property has undergone many changes, the familiar red and yellow neon, oval-shaped Parliament House sign has consistently served as a welcoming beacon to Gays and Lesbians from around the world for 35 years. That longevity, and the PH sign itself, stand as testament to the courage and vision of Bill Miller and Michael Hodge, who took a failing motel that catered mostly to Florida crackers and the family tourist, and turned it into "The World's Most Famous all Gay Resort."

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words:
 
 Photos courtesy of Official WANZeGRAM photographer Margo Dixon.

 
Jeff Horn's weekly "JEFF'S SPECIAL GUEST" at BarCodes
Inaugural Guest - Orange County Mayoral Candidate - LINDA STUART:
 
 
CHEW & VIEW at PH:

MISS JACQUELINE JONES at PH:
 
  
 Advertisement
  
 
Now on Sale in our Box Office
 

TICKETS NOW ON SALE

 
 
 
 

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Starring

ELECKTRA HEAVENLY

accompanied by

KELLY RICHARDS

 

Sunday, July 25

Footlight Lounge

6 PM

 

Select-A-Seat Now 

 

 
 
 

Hilarious Fringe Hit
Brings Extended Director's Cut to PH

 Featuring never-before-seen material and elements cut
from Fringe due to time constraints

 
TICKETS NOW ON SALE

 

 

Saturdays, July 17 & 24

Industry Night: Monday, July 26

8 PM

$12

(Includes complimentary club cover for the remainder of the evening)

Select-A-Seat Now

 

 

 
 
 
 
We've Got Mail!
 

Immigration Tirade Generated Plenty of Mail:

 

Wanzie,

 

Your take on the illegal immigration in the last WANZeGRAM took me by surprise. Are you really that naive?

 

Brad Kelly

 

Dear Brad,

No, I am that evolved.

Wanzie

 

 

Michael,

 

I had to read your Note From Wanzie three times...at least the section about immigration. You made some excellent points, and caused me to reconsider my position as it relates to "a path to legal citizenship" for the "11 million 'illegals' already here."  Making the point that none of us who trace our lineage back to Europe is really here legally was a bit disturbing at first. I had to go back and chew on it a couple of more times before coming to the conclusion that you are absolutely right. As a white Anglo Saxon American I feel a sense of entitlement and the need to protect my country from these invaders. Your Note made me realize my great grandparents were likely viewed as invaders when they first arrived. I usually read the Wanzie Gram for fun and entertainment. This time you made me think, and you helped change my mind about a very important social issue. Maybe it's not such a joke that you are Orlando's spiritual leader.

 

Sincerely,

David Simmons

 

Dear David,

Bless you, my son

Wanzie

 

Wanzie

 

When will you and all the rest of your bleeding heart liberal friends stop apologizing for our country and start being proud of it? My grandparents came here legally. Most of the Mexicans have not. You continually bash this country. Why don't you leave it if you hate it so much?"

 

Sharon Reed

 

Dear Ms. Reed,

I am always amused that whenever I suggest that we, as Americans,behave in a way that bespeaks of the greatness of our country, there's always some asshole like you who charges me with not being proud to be an American. 

Grow up!

Wanzie

 

 

Michael,

 

Your take on immigration is essentially the way I teach the Mexican War, the settlement (by the US of the Southwest), and the subjugation of the Indians.  It is true that every one (not most), but every one of the treaties entered into between Indians (yes, they prefer that name now) and the US Government was abrogated by the Government. Anyone who really wants to read truth need go no further than Dee Brown's magnificent and very disturbing "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee."  For a personal story try Russell Means' "Where White Men Fear to Tread."  It's interesting we brought about 500,000 Mexican workers here during WWII, and again for a time in the '50s, under a program called the Alien Workers Program (they were called Braceros), used them, and sent them back. A key point here is that legal workers pay taxes, and no illegals pay taxes (or draw Social Security, another lie of the Right).

 

I also agree with you regarding Larry King. He has been a waste of skin for as long as I have been aware of his existence. There, I feel better now.

 

Mike Dorman

 

Dear Mike,
Let's deport Larry King!

 

Wanzie

 

And Now For Something Completely  Different:          

 

Wanzie,

 

Nice WANZeGRAM [July 9, 2010]

 

"Not the best time to leave your puppy or minor child in the car while you dash into Whiskey River"  That's funny!  Does Bruce Nelson have a puppy?

 

Also, re: the MBA candidates forum at "Sheraton Downtown (formerly Radisson) 400 W. Livingston Street;" that hotel was formerly The Marriott. The newly renamed Sonesta Hotel on Lake Ivanhoe, WAS a Sheraton, which was, before that, Radisson (where Miss Wilson works).

 

Gary Condor

 

Dear Gary,

Glad you see the humor in a child being left in a hot vehicle. As far as PH pool bartender Bruce Nelson is concerned; let's hope he does not own a puppy. The mere fact that he actually drinks at Whiskey River is reason enough why he should not be trusted with anyone's life other than his own. I mean, I'll go into the package store side of the River in an emergency, but to actually sit at that bar where the occasional tranny has been known to slice the throat of a trucker is not an acceptable risk in my book.

 

With regards to the fact that I mistakenly referred to the Sheraton Downtown as having formerly been The Radisson rather than The Marriott; my thanks to you and the 47 other people who wrote to point out my error. I stand corrected, and I feel certain Tim Williams will be delighted to see he has been called "Miss" in the WANZeGRAM.

 

Thanks for reading the GRAM, and thanks for taking the time to write in.

 

WANZIE

 
 
 
We at the WANZeGRAM are always just as pleased as punch to receive, post, and answer our mail in this public forum. But it takes two to play!  Send your email to WANZIE! email michael@wanzie.com
Short Takes:
 

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."  - --Voltair

 
 
Submit YOUR Short Take directly to WANZIE at michael@wanzie.com.Be sure to type "Short Take" in the subject line. Short Takes submissions must be received no later than midnight on each Tuesday, for inclusion in the following Friday GRAM.  A strict limit of 30 words maximum is imposed. You must provide your first and last name, which will be printed following your submission. Your name will not figure into your word count. All postings will be at the sole discretion of the management team at the lovely WANZIE.com World Headquarters, with offices inconveniently located in Melbourne, and Lake Mary, Florida.
My Two Cents:
 
 
Submit YOUR TWO CENTS: My Two Cents submissions must be received no later than midnight on each Monday for possible inclusion in the next Friday GRAM. A strict limit of 350 words will be imposed. Please submit your column directly to WANZIE at michael@wanzie.com and kindly type "My Two Cents" in the subject line.
World in Brief Title
 

MUSIC - Toxic Audio Orlando Concert TONIGHT!

Toxic Audio is back in Orlando for one harmony screamin', vocal drum splittin', crazy request takin' night.  Paul, Jeremy, Shalisa, Geoff, and Michelle are taking the stage in downtown Orlando. So walk, run, drive, or crawl to the Harriet Coleman Center for the Arts at Lake Highland Prep School to see them!

 

Use code: fringefriends to receive 25% off your tickets! With the discount, tickets are only $15!  

 

 

Friday, July 16

7:30 PM

 

Harriet Coleman Center

Lake Highland Prep

901 North Highland Avenue
Orlando, FL    32803

 

Tickets:

http://toxicaudio.eventbrite.com 

 

World in Brief Line

 

COMEDY - Mama's HUGE 1 Year Anniversary Show!

It's our 1 year anniversary of Mama's - the weekly comedy showcase at Sleuths Mystery Dinner Theater (without the dinner), and they are presenting the biggest show they can to celebrate! The producers promise not only great comedy but also "AMAZING surprises in store for everyone."

 

Mama's Comedy Show
1 Year Anniversary Celebration

 

Friday, July 23

 

10 PM

 

Sleuth's Mystery Dinner Theater
8267 International Drive

(Near Ripley's Believe It Or Not)
Orlando, Florida   32819

 

$10

 

Reservations: 407.363.1985

 
World in Brief Line 
 

MUSIC - Sounds Like Summer Concert Series

See some of the world's best tribute bands in the Sounds Like Summer Concert Series, an annual live event that rocks Epcot theme park. Hear your all-time favorite hits that never fail to strike a chord, bringing back summertime bliss and becoming the timeless anthems of youth. The Sounds Like Summer Concert Series brings together a talented collection of tribute bands that recreate the chart-topping hits of these legendary musical icons.

 

Sounds Like Summer Concert Series 2010:

 

July 4 - July 10:                 Satisfaction - A Tribute to The Rolling Stones

July 11 - July 17:                Slippery When Wet - The Ultimate Bon Jovi Tribute

July 18 - July 24:                2U - A Tribute to U2

July 25 - July 31:                Beginnings - A Tribute to CHICAGO

 

All performances are at the outdoor America Gardens Theatre situated just opposite the American Adventure attraction on the far side of World Showcase Lagoon.

 

Nightly Show Times:     5:45 PM, 7:00 PM, and 8:15 PM (except on July 4)

 

Concerts are included free, with required regular EPCOT Park admission

 
 
World in Brief Line 
 

THEATER - Annie

Theatre Downtown production of the effervescent Broadway musical, based on Little Orphan Annie, that spawned the song we love to hate and can't help humming - "Tomorrow." This Strouse/Charnin musical first starred Andrea McArdle in the title role, who was later replaced by none other than Sarah Jessica Parker. This bouncy, delightful musical full of hope and optimism is perfect summer fare.

 

 

 Friday, July 9 through Sunday, August 8

 

Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays at 8 PM

 

Sunday Matinees:
July 18 & 25, and August 1 & 8 at 2:30 PM

 

THEATRE DOWNTOWN
2113 N. Orange Avenue

(At Princeton)
Orlando, Florida, 32804

 

$18.00 Adult  / $15.00 Seniors & Students

 

1st Thursday of the production (July 15) all tickets are only $10.00

 

Reservations: 407.841.0083

Comming Attractions
 

July 17  Classic Albums Live: LED ZEPPLIN'S IN THROUGH THE OUT
              DOOR -
Hard Rock Live!

July 21  WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - Hard Rock Live

July 25  CLAY AIKEN & RUBEN STUDDARD - King Center   

 

 

Aug. 4   JUSTIN BEIBER    Amway Arena

Aug 7    FUDDY MEERS     Footlight Theatre

Aug 7    FIRE & ICE PARTY - Parliament House

Aug 13  STEEL MAGNOLIAS  Wayne Densch PAC

Aug 21  VEGAS NIGHT - Parliament House

Aug. 28  RED CHAIR AFFAIR - Bob Carr PAC

Now Playing
 

Through Aug 14 - MAIN STREET ELECTRICAL PARADE - Magic Kingdom
Performing Arts Reservation Links & Numbers:
 
Our companion website - WANZIE.com - is pleased to host a permanent listing of Central Florida theatrical & concert venues, as well as most area performing arts companies, with phone numbers and web links for ticketing and reservations. If you are interested in any event listed in the sections directly above, you may quickly access venue/ticketing information when you CLICK HERE.
 
A Note From Wanzie:
 

Some guy who had something to do with baseball died this week.

 

All I know about baseball is that there's no crying in it. So just remember that.

 

I cried at the end of Toy Story 3.

 

I cried when Lucy died, and I had never even met the woman.

 

I once appeared in a Television Special with Lucy's daughter Lucy Arnaz along with Lyle Waggoner, and Tommy Tune. It was for The Wonderful World of Disney. It was one of those hour-long commercials dressed up like entertainment touting the grand opening of Space Mountain in Florida's Magic Kingdom Park. I'm in the scene that was filmed in Adventureland where Lucy is dressed up like Carmen Miranda signing "I yi yi yi yi I like you very much," and "Yes, We Have No Bananas" with a group of monkeys from THE JUNGLE BOOK.

 

Mowgli, the little boy raised by Jungle Animals, used to be my roommate when I lived at Lemon Tree Condominiums about a hundred years ago. In fact, I slept with him for awhile.  He wasn't really a boy; he just played one in the three o'clock parade.

 

There used to be a show that toured the country called DISNEY ON PARADE. I took my niece, Lauren Walsh, to see it at the New Haven Veterans' Memorial Coliseum in Connecticut when she was four years old. Mary Poppins came out of the movie screen and flew over the heads of the audience. I cried.

 

I have always wondered why when people begin to cry a lot at funerals and wakes everyone rushes to calm them down. In America we act as though there is some sort of embarrassment or shame if you wail right out loud and really give in to the very real pain you can feel on these occasions. We stifle it. We try to squelch it. We attempt to calm the person down. I have never thought this to be the correct reaction. After all, the purpose of the viewing and the funeral isn't really for the deceased; it is for those who are staying behind and suffering the loss. So why don't we allow ourselves to express our pain and suffering and move through it?

 

I don't mean to be racist, but I have heard that at many an African American funeral there can be a great deal of wailing, and gut wrenching crying, and flailing about, and screaming. I've never been to a funeral like that, but I do know that when my lover died, sounds came out of me I myself had never heard before. I wanted desperately to scream and just let it all out, but I was surrounded by people who were insistent I get control of my emotions, and till this day I wonder why that was. I was immobile for months afterwards, and I often think that had I been free to purge my body of that pain when it was coming to the surface of its own accord at the funeral, I might have recovered from my loss more quickly.

 

It's odd. Nobody tells anyone else to calm down when they yell and scream and show all manner of emotion during Monday Night Football, but god forbid you get worked up at a funeral home. We are so strange the way we put parameters on mourning in this country. (Oops. There I go; bashing America again. Perhaps I should just leave and move to a country where people throw themselves on caskets and wail openly in the streets when someone dies.) I honestly think that type of behavior to be more normal (and healthier) given the circumstances, than sitting quietly trying desperately to NOT make a scene. To not be too loud.

 

I just realized its probably all that bottled up emotion and held back tears from all the restraint I've been forced to bridle myself with at funerals over the years that causes me to so readily cry when the image of Walt Disney floats across the screen during the finale of The American Adventure.

 

Or, maybe I'm just a cry baby.

 

I'm not sure. But I do know "There's no crying in baseball!"

 
 
 
 
 
I'm WANZIE and That's All I Wrote!
 
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2009 Wave Award Winner for Favorite Local Spiritual Leader
 
 
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